Depression

Sadness. This feeling of weariness that makes one numb and hopeless. Uneasiness. When one feels something may have gone wrong but it is hard to know what. Anxiety. What will happen next? What is ahead of me? How wonderful it would be to be able to always say and do what should be done and said. Nothing more, nothing less. Utopia - by whose standards would that be judged?! I'm tired of not knowing how to be myself. Again. Maybe 'myself' is not acceptable? How will I ever manage not to alienate people by trying to be one of the my selves I'm fooling myself now. I never try to be myself, there is no such thing. I'm always pretending, more or less, that I am somebody that fits in. But I don't, most of the time. I should just stop talking more often.