Soulful animal

My Archaeology professor asked an interesting question in class a few weeks ago - "If you had a choice, wouldn't you choose a religion with a heaven where you fuck forever rather than one with a threat of hell?" He got quite excited about the issue as the whole class did, with one or two exceptions, and we indulged ourselves in a few moments of contemplation of this image. Before anybody had a chance to declare their readiness to welcome this new religion in their lives he continued with the main topic of the class - introductory remarks on natural selection as well as biological, social, and cultural forces governing our increasing multiplication power. I think the real point of the lecture got lost on many of the listeners after that vivid digression. Nothing seems to work some people up more than a sexual remark. Some or most?

Some of us try to be so civilized and sophisticated, detached from this untamed part of human existence. They would get offended if anything even just suggesting sexuality got addressed to them. We fight it (or just the opposite), we obsess about it, build myths around it, put limits on it, create conventions to follow, get sick and twisted, fear it, love it, hate it, enjoy it... Sometimes you'd think "this is it, this is the driving force and the sense of our whole miserable existence here!" I'm not even going to try to comment on this revelation. Whatever I'd say would probably be wrong. Say it's true you're a simple-minded, detestable ignorant. Say that it's wrong, that there is so much more to life, so many higher, more beautiful feelings in people, there are emotions, compassion, intellect... then you may be labelled a romantic fool, an intellectual in denial, or I don't know what else.

We love debating on topics like this, finding arguments for and against, fighting to death for what we stated at the beginning even if our faith in what we're saying is growing weaker and weaker along the way. "Black and white" thinking people, face it: there are many shades of truth to everything. I know it blows your mind. I know you feel scared and an overwhelming desire to go to your safe place hits you with unusual force right now. I know, and I'm sorry for you. Just think for a while, we are animals with souls. This is the most unfortunate mix. I believe we all feel it quite often when we walk our sophisticated selves, perfectly composed, with a smile glued on our faces, while our inside is twisting in agony and pounding the skull yelling "Let me out, let me the fuck out!" Or maybe it's just me.... oops...

We are supposed to know the difference between right and wrong, good and bad... But then, we have the dichotomy again. I've made mistakes in my life. I have memories I wish I didn't have (am I quoting somebody here? Oh, yes, I remember now... never mind...). We learn the distinction between right and wrong so many times and still get stunned by our inability to choose well, decide what's best, on numerous occasions. There is no universal answer to every situation we encounter. We learn the hard way. Fall, recover, go on, fall, recover, go on... What we manage to learn between the falls is a very individual matter. Sometimes nothing, sometimes barely enough, sometimes so much that we hate to see it.