I keep finding these songs from long ago and for a few moments I get to feel what I felt back then. It seems to be a very effective way to remember not just events but, much more importantly, emotions - the essence of your being when you are a teenager... Some of these songs just make me laugh, some make me dance, some make me feel nostalgic, some make me cry. And I ask myself, how much have I changed? Am I still able to feel the way I did 15 years ago? Or is it something you can feel only when your brain is still in a mess (not that it's not now, but in a bit different way, I guess), your hormones rage, and all these great emotional outbursts are just outward signs of chemical imbalance of some kind?
"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart"
"Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark"
How can something like this not make you sad? But, of course, a song is just a song. Its very purpose is to make you feel a certain way. If you feel like being melancholic, listen to the one I posted a moment ago - unless you are a person of a far from romantic disposition and something like this song will just put you to sleep... It's probably a much better idea to get a good night's sleep than to lose your touch with reality anyway. Sweet dreams.
4 comments:
I guess the most important thing to recall is that the total eclipse is never permanent, at least in nature...
Maybe it would actually serve us better if it were permanent? Who needs all these soul tearing, mind fogging upheavals and turmoils... but then, life would be so monotonous that it would kill any creativity. BUT THEN AGAIN what peace that could bring... a little bit like a coma but if you don't know you are in a coma, you can say you are just in peace with yourself and the whole world!
Your post made me think a little about a recent Deepak Chopra TV show. (I think I may have mentioned this in passing to you.) In one of his PBS specials, he talks about the pursuit of happiness. I'm recalling this memory - I hope I don't totally screw up the story. Anyway, he tells a story where Buddha travels by a river and meets up with a completely "happy" woman who is tending to her children. Yes, she is happy but she doesn't care for anything but the most simplistic state of being. Is this bliss -- certainly not. He talks about how inner happiness comes from the search for more, from creativity, from personal growth, from building relationships. That's where real happiness comes from. And all of this comes with its ups and downs -- sometimes soul tearing, mind fogging upheavals that you describe -- and sometimes not. Taking that route will guarantee you not to fall into a peaceful "coma."
I'd love to be able to engage into this beautiful process you speak about. The problem is it is not easy - one wrong move, bad decision, a little miscalculation and you end in a place you did not intend to go.
Why do I always have to see the dark side?! Drives me crazy.
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