My attempt at positivity

My friend told me that my last poem was very depressing. I never mean to depress anybody with my writing - that's hardly a thing to desire! I just want to arouse some feelings, create a moment when words transform readers' mood, make them aware of a fleeting emotion, an image, a scent... Unfortunately, I usually write about feelings and experiences that can hardly be called pleasant so why would I want anybody to share that with me?! Why does writing about such things come naturally to me and I cannot create even one fully joyous post or poem, for example glorifying some fulfilling part of my life? Or maybe I have, I hope I have done something like that, I have to go back and check! My friend also told me that nobody would even dare to comment on such a poem. I think I can see why. There may be several reasons but one of them can be that if the poem sucks, nobody wants to say anything in case I truly feel depressed and that would put me over the edge. Or they liked the poem and now they feel too depressed to write.
I'll try to be as positive as possible for the rest of this post. There is only one more thing I wanted to write about today so hopefully I'll manage to keep it cheerful.
I think I'm finally acclimatizing. I have been an immigrant for eight years and when I happened to spend some time with Americans I always felt to be an outsider, an observer, an oddball. Always having a feeling I see the world differently made me afraid to open up to people. I did not want them to see how strange I was. For some reason I stopped worrying about that. College helped but that was not enough. I think I owe this to a few people here who made me feel they not only accept me the way I am but also like these little things that I do or say or write differently. I feel as if a new world unfolds for me right before my eyes. It is still new for me and said with some hesitation but I feel I can make my life work here - for so long I did not believe that I would ever hear myself saying that. I can make it work in ways very different from how it would most probably look in Poland, and this is the most exciting part!
That's not to say that in Poland my life would be worse - I think I would be able to make it quite good too. But it seems it would be much more predictable and familiar and yes, a little more limited in opportunities. I like challenges - it keeps me interested, active, involved. I get bored quite easily... That is probably why I prefer reading and writing in English. I always learn something new, not only about content but also about form. I love coming across a new word, or an old one but used in an unusual way, a phrase that makes me stop and savor the way it sounds and makes me feel. I love searching for the best way to say something in my writing, even if that means spending much more time writing the same number of words than any of my American friends would. I love learning that what I write not only makes sense but also makes people think and feel. I guess everybody needs some assurance, right? Who likes disappointments... Ok, time to finish, I feel I'm crossing to the dark side again!