Lost it again... I cannot believe I am so weak. I am very disappointed with myself. I could think of a thousand excuses, explanations, reasons but some things just do not get fixed with these kinds of tools. I know I have been stressed out, I know everybody has their limits and you can take only so much... I have been absorbing too many negative feelings, too much anger, fear, helplessness. It seems that I am reaching the point when it starts to overflow and I cannot control it. And I don't like it. I don't like myself when I lose it. I don't like the feeling when my head gets light and then fills with stuff that I did not invite there. I hate when I cannot help it. I just want to be sane, patient, good, optimistic, considerate, altruistic, wise, and very very strong... Is it too much to ask?!
I am so sad now.
I am so sorry.
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