Thursday, August 5, 2010

Stand still, for a minute

I'd like to be able to clear my mind so that I could see things as they are. I feel that I may already, at this point in my life, be influenced so much by everything that I have experienced (in an obviously subjective sort of way) that I often cannot decide where the 'my' part starts and where it ends. To be perfectly honest, I kind of doubt there is a way to keep such an open outlook on the world. After all, everything seems to look different depending on your standpoint... But does that mean that there is no untarnished, fair, totally objective state of things even in the smallest of matters? I'm not even talking about universal truths, truisms, and such... these have been ripped apart by so many philosophers that it became impossible to figure them out anyway. I'm thinking about really small everyday stuff that still has so many facets to every person involved that it's seems impossible to untangle the 'truth'. How can we ever come to terms with anybody? How is that possible to live in peace, communicate, cooperate, etc. if everybody has a different angle of looking at things? It's like a kaleidoscope - one tiny movement, a slight change of position and you see tremendous evolutions in the image you're looking at.

Sometimes I feel I have run in circles, let myself be caught in the narrow scope of my perceptions, become so absorbed in my own limited experiences that I'm missing so many pieces, missing them completely and irrevocably. Ones in a while this awareness becomes more acute and I feel uneasy and try to stop and think what it is I'm missing and how I could find a way to see more fully, more wholly. But then I get busy again and I go back to doing a hundred things an hour without a second to spare to do anything about it. The whole thing just leaves me with an aftertaste that reminds me from time to time that I should probably do a major remodeling in my world if I want to stop the process of becoming so hardened in my ways that I won't see anything clearly anymore.

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